Journal Thoughts: Merciless

2017-11-19 02:40:08 by dilandoubishop
Updated

This life is unbearable. I cannot go on like this. No matter the activity, whether it is gaming or art...these suicidal thoughts are right there....waiting for me. In my waking moments or sleep. I just feel so exhausted in my mind. I given up a lot of things just to pursue art as viable career. I don't know what more I can give just to keep going. In the back of my mind I can...see it. Feel it. The smell of blood. Its coppery...metallic....in large quantity. I dunno why my childhood is like that. Fear and violence. It didn't make me stronger...just very sad and tired. Its like was forsaken from the very beginning. I don't give a shit any more. My best is never good enough. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. Anyway, here is today's drawing. I'll try and do some more tomorrow if I am not tired. https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/dilandoubishop/rejected-pencil-4